Week 4 in Online Dating Bootcamp was a jam-packed session. We have so much information to cover in such a short period of time that I’m sure I talk a mile a minute. But everyone was in attendance and – thru the miracle of modern technology – was able to look at my desktop as we searched thru the men on Joanna’s favorites list. .
And, in no time, the entire class learned that the goal of your first email is not to issue a compliment or find some shared interest – but simply to make the other person smile.
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Here’s what Joanna had to say about it…
The entire class learned that the goal of your first email is not to issue a compliment or find some shared interest — but simply to make the other person smile.
During Week 4, Evan taught us a couple of techniques for writing initial emails to people on our favorites list. The first method, called “opinion openers”, was pretty self explanatory — you write and offer up your observation about something (from NPR to Gaddafi to the Da Vinci Code). Instead of stating a fact (“I like biking, too!”) that leads nowhere, you get an opportunity to start a conversation. The second method was called “fun fiction”. You choose something written in a profile and apply it to yourself in a fake way. Not easy! Evan said that the element of surprise is what will make the reader laugh (and hopefully respond). He illustrated the technique, using a profile comment about a man who “liked Mexican and Italian food and could cook it too”. The fun fiction email then became “My patented chimichanga parmesan recipe was rejected by Taco Bell!” There’s a little more to it, but you get the point.
Finally, I had a way to write to more people, since most profiles are generic and don’t give you a lot of good material with which to work. I decided to make my first feeble attempt with fun fiction. I chose one of my favorite guys, and picked the phrase “girl next door” out of his profile. I wrote that it is tough being the girl next door to him – we don’t have front porches these days, so he can’t be out there catching the aroma of the brownies I have cooking in the oven. Plus, there was that dodgy association with Hugh Hefner. 🙂 I closed confidently, as Evan recommended.
He wrote back the same day, said he liked my email/profile/pictures (thanks/thanks/thanks Evan) and by the way, if I was curious, he liked his brownies without nuts.