No relationship is perfect, and neither are the two people in that relationship. It is hard not to criticize our loved ones, even when we try. Sometimes our criticism is constructive, but other times it is the exact opposite – destructive. Too many complaints and too much criticism can take the romance out of a relationship faster than a speeding bullet.
Complaining and Criticizing in a Relationship
Look at the way you and your partner communicate. Is it mostly in a loving, supportive and uplifting way? When you speak to one another is it one negative thing after the other? If it is the latter, one would assume your sex life is not as good as it could be. It is much more difficult to feel sexy or romantic towards your partner when they have very little good to say about you. Those criticisms and complaints can really hurt your ego, so initiating sex can lead to rejection, so you simply don’t do it anymore.
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People say you should not take it personally and that your partner may mean well, but when the delivery is bad and it goes on day after day, you have no choice but to start taking it personally.
Instead of using words like “You always ” (which no one likes to hear) stick with the matter at hand in the here and now. When you tell someone “You always” they can ask for examples of other times and now the whole discussion becomes about whether or not “they always “.
Instead of getting him to take out the garbage on garbage day, you told him he always forgets to take it out and now spent an hour debating it. Just ask him to take out the garbage, forget the “you always “. But what if he always forgets? What if you told them a thousand times and he doesn’t do what you asked? Well complaining about it the way you have sure hasn’t worked, so try a new tactic. Ask your partner if he would like to switch a job with you. You will take out the garbage from now on if he will do one of your chores. If he says no, wait and see if he forgets. if he does, take out the garbage yourself, at the last minute (so they can’t say they would have done it themselves.) Let him know later on that you did his job for him so now he can do one of yours. Make it something he hates.
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Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate
Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.