As a society, we like to talk about sex and we don’t like to talk about sex. The amount of sex entertainment, especially on the Internet, is staggering, yet when see a “wardrobe malfunction” on TV, we’re shocked and some are horrified. We laugh hard at sex jokes, but many people complain that their sex lives are a joke, and not in a funny way.
The point is, we really don’t talk enough about sex and we don’t talk about it in the right way.
I’ve always been a big believer in communication being a big part of having a happy and healthy sex life, but when it comes down to it, many couples can’t or refuse to talk about it … from couples navigating and negotiating new sexual relationships to couples that have been married for decades. We do a pretty good job at telling our partners that we want sex, but when we tell our partners how we like it, things get awkward.
For instance, how many women really know how to give their partner a hand job or a blow job? How many men know how to digitally or orally stimulate their woman? Do men and women listen to their partners when they tell them? Sometimes yes. Sometimes not.
Sometimes, men and women don’t know what or how to do something that will drive them out of their minds in the bedroom (or any other convenient location). They don’t know because they haven’t experienced it, or don’t know how to explain it, or are too embarrassed to explain what they want. Sometimes people are hesitant to ask for something that will give them insane amounts of enjoyment because they feel guilty or selfish.
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People also get caught up in their bad routines that they picked up learning how to please their lovers on the fly or some poorly coded and written “hot sex tip” they picked up in magazines like Cosmo or Maxim without specific or visual details. I’m not knocking these magazines for their efforts, but they also they also have to hold the line at not going too far over the edge in providing adult content.
Are there classes that explain and demonstrate better sex techniques? Sure, but they’re few and far between in progressive metropolitan areas like San Francisco (Good Vibrations), Los Angeles, Chicago, Toronto and New York, and they tend not to be publicized very well by design. They don’t want to attract predators and creepsters and they don’t want to piss off and arouse the ire of their neighbors and “special interest groups.”
What I think needs to happen is to have a culture change in our society in the way we talk about sex. We need to take the shame and embarrassment out of sex. We don’t have to divulge the intimate details of our personal sex lives, but we have to do a better job of providing and sharing intelligent and credible information about sex.
I’d like to go out on a limb and start a viral Adult Sex Ed Month … possibly this summer this June when we can mobilize sex journalists and bloggers, sex educators and the sex industry to get the message out about ways to take the stigma out of sex, encourage healthy communication about sex, and to provide frank, intelligent and credible information about sex.
Saturday, 21 November 2020