When Pipedream asked me to review some of its offerings from its Fetish Fantasy Series line, I figured that they’d send over some halfway decent beginner bondage/BDSM gear … not great, but not horrible.
I think I found a new low in horrible sex toys.
In pictures and ads, I thought the Fetish Fantasy Limited Edition Bow Tie Cuffs looked rather feminine and romantic. I’m a sucker for luxurious soft and satiny things when it comes to bondage and restraint play as much as I am about finely-crafted edgy leather stuff. I also have a different expectation in what a set of $20-something cuffs like these are going to look and perform opposed to a set that runs over $50.
I don’t know how much special effects lighting and Photoshopping was done for the pictures of these cuffs on the packaging and in the ads, but it was a lot. By “a lot”, I mean I almost didn’t recognize these cuffs when I took them out of the box “a lot”.
The satiny polyester fabric felt nice against my wrists and ankles. They were padded, but this had to be the cheapest and thinnest padding I’ve ever felt in cuffs like these.
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But the Velcro straps … what a hot mess. I didn’t know that webbed straps could be so thin and stiff. The stitching on the ends of the cuffs where the straps were sewn in seemed to strain when I pulled on them. Given that they wasted so much of this webbing to make these one size fits all for both wrists and ankles instead of making each size appropriate, the least that could have been done was to add a little bit more of it inside the cuffs to anchor them in better.
And the seam than runs down the center of the bow where the cuffs attach … not a classy look.
The Fetish Fantasy Series Pleasure Paddle is the last thing I would recommend to anyone … beginner or advanced. I’m not sure what’ underneath the shiny faux crocodile exterior. I assume that it’s plastic. It’s very thin and rigid. This could leave someone in a world of hurt if someone really went to town on somebody’s skin, possibly welts. A good beginner’s paddle should be thicker and be able to absorb a fair amount of impact. This doesn’t do it at all.
The packaging for the Fetish Fantasy Series Dom & Sub Kit says it comes with two nylon tethers with velvet cuffs. Don’t be fooled; they aren’t velvet. They feel more like slightly furry flimsy felt. It’s the kind of material I’d cut up to make craft projects with my nieces, 5, 7 and 8. I noticed a moderate pull in the stitching that attached the 34-inch tethers to the cuffs when I gave them a moderate pull.
You call this a collar.
There’s a collar and leash in this set. Get ready to shudder … the collar is made from the cheap, thin, tacky and flimsy “velvet” as the cuffs. It doesn’t provide enough weight and padding to make it safe for play. I could feel an uncomfortable of strain on the back of my neck with a gentle tug of the leash. The adjustable metal snaps at the back of the collar weigh more than the fabric. The snaps are rather difficult to take off in a hurry, although I’m sure a pair of safety scissors will cut though the “velvet” quick and easily. And that’s if you can get the collar on. The biggest adjustable length on this collar is only 16 inches. The nylon webbed leash is 36 inches long, and six of those inches are the handle. I’d be willing to bet that a dollar store has nicer pet leashes.
Whatever you do if you decide to buy this kit (which I hope you won’t do after reading this review so far, is to use the cheap paraffin wax taper candles. Given the hardness of these candles, I’d say that they have a melting point somewhere near 165 degrees. I tested one drop on the top of my hand. (Yes, I really test stuff that I get do my own stunts.) It hurt like hell. I’m surprised that it didn’t leave a red mark or blister on my skin.
I normally wouldn’t go into this much detail about sex toys I strongly recommend that people should avoid, but I felt I needed to be very specific about the quality and safety issues of these products, especially the paddle, collar and candles.