I’ll admit that I brag about my sex life … a lot.
If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you know that it’s full of fun and fully sensuous. We sometimes do things that we (and probably lots of people) haven’t done before, but it bears absolutely no similarity to porn videos (even though we’ve filmed ourselves on a couple of occasions).
I never quite knew how to explain the difference until I read an article in Men’s Health, 5 Things That Only Happen in Porn.
Among the findings:
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1. Fewer than a double digit percentage of people have engaged in double penetration
According to the article, only 3 percent of men and 1 percent of women have actually done double penetration. “In real life, it would be incredibly uncomfortable, if not painful, for women,” says Justin Sitron, Ph.D., an assistant professor of human sexuality at Widener University.
2. Oh, those orgasms!
If women moaned and screamed as much as they do in porn, they’d be in the throes of an orgasm all day long.
“It’s unrealistic ecstasy,” says Ana Bridges, Ph.D., who studies the effects of porn in romantic relationships at the University of Arkansas. “Every single touch, from the looks and sounds of it, is orgasm-inducing.”
The article also cites an Emory University study that found that 75 percent of women have faked it—and are more likely to do so if they think men will fall for it.
For the record, I’m quite vocal in the bedroom. I haven’t always been that way. A lot of it has to do with having an amazing man in my life who knows what he’s doing and allows me to feel comfortable in being completely open with my mind, body and soul. And even if I can’t be heard at the end of the street, it doesn’t mean that I’m not enjoying myself. Or maybe I need to catch my breath between orgasms.
3. Dirty talk isn’t a turn-on for everyone
Bridges found that nearly half of the scenes in popular porn include name-calling. In the real world, 20 percent of women have actually experienced dirty talk and almost all of them don’t like it.
“It’s a reminder that she’s a bad girl, so it’s okay to treat her this way,” says Bridges. “She’s not somebody to be treasured.”
In my experiences, words like “whore” and “slut” fall out of Parrot’s mouth very rarely, usually when his libido is raging like raging like a 50-square-mile wildfire. Hell, even some unfiltered words have come out of my mouth on occasion. However, the way we treat and value each other the other 99% of the time is hot, too.
4. Why waste cum on a facial?
Ejaculating on her face is “proof” that what you’re looking at is real, Bridges says. That may explain why male porn stars climax anywhere but her vagina 81 percent of the time.
Bridges also found that about two-thirds of people have replicated this act — but here’s where reality differs from porn: 80 percent of women didn’t like the idea of a guy finishing on her face or in her mouth.
Perhaps it’s why it’s called a money shot. Actresses get paid to act like they love having some dude come on her face. Also from what I’ve read in other stories on this topic, facials are the porn industry’s way of upping the ante to make videos more provocative and profitable.
5. Cold, hard facts about erections
“Porn creates this script that we have to be aroused from the moment we get naked and that seeing your penis soft will be a letdown,” Sitron says. In fact, Bridges’ research shows that the more a man watches pornography, the more likely he is to feel insecure about the size of his penis or the adequacy of his erection.
Guys, be honest, you’re not always hard the moment you pull down your pants. Even if you don’t get it up beyond foreplay, you know it’s not because you’re not horny or turned on. Sometimes the brain in the little head has a mind of its own.
If porn’s your thing, I certainly hope you know that learning how to have sex from porn is like watching Resevoir Dogs to learn how to use a gun.