I do very few sex toy reviews these days. I prefer to write articles that are more informative and educational about sex toys and let readers decide whether or not they want to buy or try something. Besides, there are no shortage of blogger and consumer sex toy reviews out there.
However, I get frustrated when I see some sex toy blogger/reviewers and retailers praise the merits of some sex toys, vibrators in particular, I’ve reviewed and know are absolute crap, even some very expensive vibrators. I’ve also reviewed several inexpensive sex toys that are exceptional, I use often, but don’t have a lot of marketing and reviewer hype behind them. I hate to say it, but a lot of sex toy blogger/reviewers and retailers buy into a lot of marketing hype. I’ve even turned down money from retailers to promote sex toys I know are crap. Even when they’ve persisted, I always explain why I just won’t do it. Credibility with my readers is a lot more valuable than making a couple of bucks.
I get immensely irritated when I hear words like “toxic”, “dangerous” and “unsafe” used to describe some sex toys. Unless you plan on leaving a sex toy up your hoo-hah or butt for a couple of dozen years, I doubt if any of the materials pose any serious health threats. So far, I haven’t heard of any documented cases of anyone getting seriously ill from using a sex toy of any kind. I also doubt if any of these bloggers have the equipment to measure “toxic” levels of materials they say that are in any sex toy.
I’m sure I’ve gnarled away at some tooth enamel every time I’ve heard some blogger/reviewer rant about “cheap” or “inferior” sex toys from China. This past winter, I received a very expensive and nice sex toy to review that was shipped to me straight from the People’s Republic of Unsafe Sex Toys. I know of a company that brags that every product it sells is made in the US. I’ve reviewed enough of this company’s sex toys to know they’re junk.
A lot of this rhetoric gets passed along from the manufacturers that are only trying to make selling points for their products. Some companies do this by inflating claims of the materials and engineering of their products. For the record, there are no official guidelines as to what can be called medical grade silicone. I guy I spoke with earlier this year who works for a company that makes silicone medical devices told me that “medical grade” basically amounts to whatever a company’s attorneys are willing to say constitutes “medical grade”. I see a lot of companies pass off all kinds of vibrators as “safe” because they have a CE (Conformité Européenne) label on the packaging. (CE is a safety certificaton is necessary in order to sell sex toys or just about any manufactured product in the EU.) But what does that really mean when the fine print on a dildo or a butt plug package says “for external use only”? I even turned down work from a lube company when the owner told me that silicone was something that’s used to caulk bathroom tile.
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What all my ranting boils down to is that there’s a definite bias toward expensive sex toys = good, cheap sex toys = bad. It’s not always entirely true and it pisses me off.
I also see what sex toys and other related products people buy at A Good Woman’s Dirty Boutique. (Don’t worry, I don’t know who buys what or their contact or billing information.) So far, all the vibes I’ve seen people buy are in the $45-$100 price range. I totally get this and I’m sure that I don’t have to tell you that not everyone wants to or can afford to spend a lot of money on a vibrator.
So what makes a quality vibrator a good value?
Domina Doll of Pop My Cherry Review and G-Spot Girl heard me out on a long-winded rant about this on an adult novelty trade networking site. She also works on the affiliate relations end of a company in the adult novelty industry. I’ve worked with her enough to trust and value her opinions and pass along her recommendations on sex toys she thinks are exceptional values. Some are inexpensive but there are some pricey ones that are truly worth a splurge.
Pocket Rocket Limited Edition Black
Cheap, small, great for virgin toy users, and it works. No silicone at all, and plastic resonates vibrations very well.
Bodywand Plug In Massager
Smaller than the Magic Wand, but almost as powerful. Middle to higher price point. Easier to use, light weight and lots of orgasms.
Magic Wand Unplugged Rechargeable Massager
Great for women who want to come very fast or have trouble with orgasm. Mid-price point well worth the $$. Has more speeds than the original (Watch out for that high setting! Yowza!) and has many upgrades.
Personal note: This is the only vibrator Domina has mentioned that I’ve reviewed and use often. I totally agree with what she has to say about the Magic Wand Rechargeable.
Womanizer USB Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
The best clitoral vibe I’ve ever tried. Holy fuck! Orgasms is under two minutes, including squirting O’s.