Every month another women’s magazine has an article about how you should “make your bedroom an oasis.” Or “keep the bedroom for sex.” And when I see this I have a difficult time stifling a giggle. Yes, of course we would all be better off if we kept our bedroom as a haven for sex. But that really is not a practical solution for most of us who don’t live in 12 room mansions. For most women I know the bedroom is the newest form of the multi-purpose room: watching TV, snuggling the kids, folding the laundry, keeping the dog, part-time lap-top retreat for work, and part time yoga studio. Who are we kidding? But I do think that people can and should create boundaries for the bedroom that allow you to convert it into a good place to have sex when you want to. Here are some things than can help do that and are pretty non-negotiable:
You’d be amazed at how a little bit of management can make your bedroom into a place that’s more conducive to sex. And while that doesn’t solve a low libido problem, it can address the “I have trouble getting in the mood” problem.
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Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, one of the largest centers for women’s sexual health in the country. Dr. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning her Doctor of Philosophy in human sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She also has a Master’s in public health from the same institution. She is a licensed social worker with a Master’s degree from Columbia University. Dr. Marcus has worked as the executive director of not-for-profit institutions and corporations, medical practices and laboratories. In addition to being featured in a NY Times article, she is a frequent guest on radio, podcasts and has lectured both nationally and overseas on a wide variety of women's issues.