Often patients talk about feeling shy about trying new things sexually. It’s really more common than you think. Even with (maybe especially with) long term partners. (“What? We’ve been together 20 years, NOW I’m gonna tell him I want him to wear a fireman uniform?”) So here are some thoughts on “shyness.” Most people have it now and then sexually. Your not crazy. Shyness can make you a little scared and insecure and sometimes that’s a great think sexually. You might find that the unease makes the experience more erotic or more intense. It’s easier to talk about something sometimes when your not face to face. Say, when your cuddled agains his/her back or in the car. If you really can’t talk about something, you can always write it down — leave an note or send an email. But please, please, don’t let your shyness get in the way of your trying something you’ve always wanted to try!!
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Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, one of the largest centers for women’s sexual health in the country. Dr. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning her Doctor of Philosophy in human sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She also has a Master’s in public health from the same institution. She is a licensed social worker with a Master’s degree from Columbia University. Dr. Marcus has worked as the executive director of not-for-profit institutions and corporations, medical practices and laboratories. In addition to being featured in a NY Times article, she is a frequent guest on radio, podcasts and has lectured both nationally and overseas on a wide variety of women's issues.
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